Grandma Amy Compton Asberry

My 5th great-grandmother, Mary "Amy" Compton Asberry, was born in New Jersey on December 20, 1782. To put her birth into perspective, she was born when New Jersey was still a colony. It became the third state in the new nation a few days before her fifth birthday.  Imagine the exciting times her parents lived in and the stories she heard while growing up!

She married Coleman Reed Asberry on 15 Sep. 1803, just short of her 21st birthday, in West Union, Adams County, Ohio. When she arrived in Ohio remains a mystery as does her parentage. My assumption is that she came to Ohio with her parents but I do not know this for a fact.  It would seem that her parent's gave consent but a marriage bond  apparently has not been found for Amy and Coleman. I intend, one day, to go to West Union and see for myself.  This excerpt, from  a letter prompted by someone's request for proof of marriage, is offered as proof for now.

"We have an entry made which is taken from Elsie Rayburn's collections. These are taken from various sources such as bible records,histories or family records. We can certify as to there being Court records although they are here for the purpose of helping people who are researching links in their family tree genealogical surveys.

Asberry.Coleman and Mary Compton married Sept 15,1803 by Nathan Ellis.

That is all it gives.
Sincerely yours,

 A.Bailey

Deputy Clerk"

Amy and Coleman likely had ten children: Jacob (my direct ancestor), Frances "Franky", Elizabeth, Mary, Amy, Coleman Jr., Nancy, Thomas, Agnes - all proven, except Joseph, (still hoping for proof).  According to the oldest child, Jacob's, tombstone, he was born on March 30, 1803, before his parent's marriage. Okay, I know. A lot could be happening here. The marriage date could be wrong.The tombstone could be wrong.  The person that took the picture did cut off part of the date. Here's the picture I have of Jacob's tombstone. I used Tombstone Birthday Calculator to compute his birth date.

Coleman shows up in Pendleton County, Kentucky in the 1810 census. In his household are two males under ten, two females under ten, one female between 16-25, one female between 26-44, and one male between 26-44.  In 1810, Amy would have celebrated her twenty-eighth birthday and Coleman, born in 1780, would have been thirty. Who was the 16-25 year old female? Could she have been a sister to either? A boarder? Maybe a servant? Four kids aged seven (assuming Jacob was born in 1803) and under would be a cause for me to need a servant!

Amy first appears as the head of household in the 1820 census (name spelled Ammey). She is living in Pendleton County, Kentucky with two males under ten (Coleman & Thomas), three females under ten (Amy, Nancy, and ?), two females 10-15 ( Elizabeth & Mary), one male 10-15 (Joseph), and one male 16-20 (Jacob). She reports herself as being a female 45 and over (she's not quite that old, but I have never found another Amy Asbury raising children by herself regardless of age). There are two people reported as working in Agriculture.  My assumption is those two were Joseph and Jacob with Amy "keeping house".  Interestingly enough, Agnes, reportedly was born 22 Dec 1822 according to her findagrave.com memorial. An Index on Ancestry.com called, U.S. and International Marriage Records, 1560-1900, supports this date with the year of 1822 as her birth year. So, either the census miscounted (it does say that nine people are living in the household when the tallies add up to ten) or possibly Amy and Coleman had another daughter that died before the next census. With this family, there are often more questions than answers.

Amy and Coleman's marriage, apparently, was troubled. She left Coleman and took her minor children with her. The youngest, Agnes, was two years old. A few years later, Coleman decided to ask for a divorce on the grounds of abandonment. He had found a younger woman to marry, Elizabeth Amery Wheeler, daughter of Ignatius Wheeler. Their divorce was granted in October of 1824.

  Transcription of Divorce Decree as found in the E.E. Barton Family Files, Pendleton County Public Library


This was not to be the end of her troubles. Roughly three years after their divorce, an attempt to have their minor children bound to a trade was made by a Brann, an Asbury descendant and likely relative of Coleman. 
 
Elisha was born in Pendleton County on 25 Jan 1828. Tradition in this family says that his father was a lawyer by the last name of Lawler. No evidence supporting this has been found to date.  

In 1830, Amy is still living in Pendleton County. She has one male under five (Elisha?), one female 5-9 (Agnes), one female 10-14 (Nancy), and one female 15-19 (Amy). 

To date, I have not been able to locate Amy Compton Asberry in the 1840 census. I cannot find any of her unmarried children as well. I assume they are all together or at least close to each other geographically. At least that makes sense to me. I also get the feeling the family was on the move. Agnes gave birth to a child in 1842 in Missouri. Another daughter, Amy, married in Scotland County, Missouri in 1844. Coleman, Jr. had a child born in Missouri in 1846 and purchased land there in 1848. Lastly, another daughter, Nancy, had a child born in Scotland County, Missouri in 1841. 

In 1850, Grandma Amy is living in Miller, Scotland County, Missouri. This is the only time I find her in a census there. 

In 1851, Coleman, Jr. and Elisha passed through Sacramento City, California and were interviewed by the local press. Along with them is Mr. J. Harding and family of Jackson County, Missouri. Could this be Agnes and her family? Could Amy have been traveling with them as well?

I find this article so enjoyable! It's really nothing like what I always thought a journey of that magnitude would be like. They described it like there was nothing to it! Lots of grass. Good weather for the most part. Amazing. I guess that goes to show that Hollywood can't be trusted. Nancy, her family, and Amy, appear for the first time in California in 1852 state census.

Imagine that! A 69 year old woman going all the way to California at a time when Indians still roamed the plains and were perceived to be a threat! A time when rail travel was limited and certainly wasn't "transcontinental". The monotonous landscape, maybe even walking for several hours, sleeping on the hard ground at night, and always being on the lookout for danger whether from man, beast, or weather, must have been nerve wracking!   In the words of J.M. Lowe: "What hardihood! What nerve! What magnificent courage!" I wonder what went through her mind. Did she have doubts? Was she afraid? Did she know what she was going to do when she arrived at her new home? Did she worry about how she would support herself? 

I have not located Amy in the 1860 census but did find her in the California state census in 1852. Coleman, Elisha, Nancy, and Agnes all appear in California census for 1860. Her daughter, Amy, has not been located in my research since 1850. I believe she may have died before the 1860 census.

In the 1870 Federal Census, Amy is reported to be 87 years of age and is living in the home of her daughter and son-in-law, Nancy and Charles Owens. They are residing in Vallejo, Sonoma County, California. Their post office is in Petaluma.  

Mary "Amy" Compton Asberry died 31 Oct 1870 in Vallejo, Sonoma County, California.  She was just a couple of months short of being 88 years old.  Her burial location is unknown. A simple notice of her death is all that appeared in the local paper.  

            Appearing in the Russian River Flag dated 10 November 1870


 I can't help but think, in spite of the hardships, she lived her life to the fullest. She marched to the beat of her own drum. She was definitely courageous to leave her husband and raise her children by herself. This was simply not done in those times. She was brave to go to Missouri and then to California, especially at her age. The trips couldn't have been easy on her. I get the feeling from what I can learn about her that she was a strong woman. I  look at her life and then at mine and think I have no cause to complain. My life has been easy. 




(A special thanks to Paul, a dear friend and my favorite, albeit distant Asbury cousin, in California for the news articles and the marriage record. He saved me so much work! He generosity will not be forgotten.)